No sooner have we paid Revenue Canada a massive chunk of our hard earned savings when along comes the dreaded property tax notices. This year, we are paying for two houses instead of one. This has left me with an uneasy feeling. On a planet where a billion people are without a home, how fair is it that I should own two? It isn't fair. I am aware of this.

Anyway...I've been thinking about the psychology of geography; where we live and why, and how any given location may affect us. The truth is, where we happen to live is largely arbitrary. Typically, people live where they grew up - where their parents chose to live. It isn't until much later in life, once you're already dug-in, that you realize how environmentally disoriented you are. It is akin to growing up in a particular religion that isn't of your choosing; it becomes part of the air you breathe. So much about our lives is like this - what we believe, what we eat, how we raise our children...And then you reach middle-age and find yourself wondering, "What the hell am I doing here?" and "Why has it taken me so long to wake up?"

If I could do things over again, I would raise my children in a natural environment. I would insist that they have a connection to the earth and to animals - on a small farm, perhaps. It would have been better for them, and certainly better for me. I am convinced that today's kids are living an unnatural life; divorced from nature and increasingly addicted to technology. Their most important relationhips are with machines. If they aren't staring a their cellphones, they're sitting in front of a computer. Or it's a video game, a tv show; plugged into their i-pods - immersed in sound but deaf to the sounds around them. They talk about all their "friends" on Facebook. Boring old Mum in the background reminds them that it is a pseudo-community -that no one has five hundred friends. To them, the bigger the number the greater the status. Having one or two meaningful connections with real-live human beings is no longer the goal. In a consumer culture, human relationships become just another commodity in the industrial marketplace.

I think I'm becoming a Luddite. I find it all so weird and rather dangerous. Who knows what all these radio waves are doing to their health - a hazard that very few parents seem concerned about. My kids occupy a very small minority of students at their school who do not own cell phones. Some of their teachers find it strange. These are the teachers who can barely spell, let alone construct a coherent sentence that isn't rife with grammatical errors, so their opinion on my children's cell phone status (or lack thereof) is of no interest to me. But they do represent yet another obstacle; their world-view in in opposition to mine. It creates conflict. It isn't enough that I am already perceived as being a dinosaur, but now they have their teachers making queries as to why they aren't texting in class. After all, it is such an important life skill.


What I am concerned about, is what all of this technocracy is doing to their souls - to their ability to find themselves, on a spiritual level, in the midst of this relentless electronic interference. And trying to pull your children away from this is like swimming upstream - you are against the culture, against everything they deem valuable. You appear to be some sort of anachronism. It is a fundamental clash and I suppose I can only hope that my harping about it may leave some sort of residual impression. Lately, I feel bewildered as a parent. My kids are teenagers now and seem to inhabit an alternate reality. They are remote, and yet so very present. I am privy to the noise, the mess, the arguments, the conflict...but their inner lives are no longer available to me - I'm not invited. This is perhaps as it should be; this separation is a natural part of development. I just think it would all be so much easier if I didn't have to monitor the amount of time they want to spend being checked-out. I made my sons play Scrabble last night. They ended up laughing hysterically. These are small victories for me.


In light of all this, our cottage on Mayne Island becomes not just a place to go for superficial diversion. To me, it is akin to a blood transfusion. Because I've come to realize that I don't feel truly alive in the city - I am engaged in what I am doing, but often wishing I were somewhere else. Longing for a closer connection to nature, to the trees, to the quiet. To be able to listen to the birds singing and not have the experience spoiled by someone's leaf blower. My senses feel bruised in the city; the traffic, the noise, the predictable drone of power tools, lawn mowers all weekend long, ambulances..all of it crashing through any modicum of peace that you may be enjoying at any given moment. On Mayne Island, I always experience a sense of wonder - and it makes me feel alive and very wide awake.

I feel lucky in my life - to have a cottage, to have a great partner and good kids, a lovely home...and yet, there is an underlying unease. I think it might be eco-depression. I read today that five hundred thousand tonnes of pesticides were dumped onto North American soil in just one year. We have just lived through one of the warmest winters on record. We are seeing record floods, record droughts, record forest fires, rising sea levels, melting glaciers, decreased lung capacity in children...How can this not be front page news every single day? Instead, we're always hearing about the economy. As if it were a living entity - showing "signs of growth" as being "healthy" or "unhealthy". What does a "healthy economy" even mean? When do we measure the health of the environment, of the biosphere, or the air? And no one talks about the economic implications of continuing to destroy this planet. Kinder-Morgan is expanding but to watch to the news, one would assume that rising gas prices are of greater concern. Let them soar.  I could care less.


Our kids are inheriting such a mess, and they are worried. This is why I ran for the Green Party - I felt I had to put myself out there; to stand up for what I believe is the most important issue facing humanity right now. And then one of my kids came home from school and said, "My teacher said the Green Party is the same as the marijuana party." Once again, weird old Mum is marching to a different tune. They call me a hippie. I take that as a compliment.


Anyway, I've really blathered on tonight. But I'm thinking this cottage represents the next chapter in my life. When the kids grow up and move on, I won't be living here. It's definitely something to look forward to...
I took this photograph when we visited Galiano Island a few years ago. This is one of the most beautiful spots I have ever seen. Click on the picture to get the full effect.