I am so looking forward to this weekend, because Lorenzo is staying home! YAY! Our twins' birthday is on Friday, so he can't go anywhere. Yesterday, it was his 42nd birthday and we had a dinner party...with balloons! I'd like to share what my oldest son wrote to his dad:

Things I love About You:

-you're funny
-you always seem to stay in a pleasant mood even if the day isn't going good
-you're supportive and kind
-warmhearted
-very, very generous when it counts, to us and everyone around you
-whenever we need anything you get it done, no matter what price...you do that for us
-you care about everyone and love us so much
-pretty easy to talk to
-you're the best father anyone could ever have, and I mean that.

Isn't that great? If your kids love you, you're a successful person. What good is anything else you've done, or how much you've acquired, if your kids are itching to stick you in a nursing home? And just the other night Lorenzo said, "I wonder if he even likes me lately." Go figure. Teenagers are hard to read sometimes.

I have nothing to say about the cottage, so I'll just blither on... thoughts on life and other useless ramblings...

Tonight I dropped my son off at his drum lesson around 7pm. I went grocery shopping. And as I was wandering through the produce section, wondering what to make for dinner this week, it occurred to me that I've never been happier than right now. I remember years ago, a famous actress said, "Life begins at forty." I remember thinking, "Is she nuts? Forty is old."
It seems unfair that we often fail to appreciate things until our lives are half over. There's a happy thought!

My twenties were a lot of fun - travelling, university - but I spent much of it thinking I was fat.
I was thirty pounds lighter than I am right now. Ironically, I feel better about myself than I did then. The adage that youth is wasted on the young is without a doubt the most true, and the most accurate quote, ever penned. I'm just glad to be alive - people die young everyday. You don't think about death in your twenties. You're too busy focusing on your thighs.

My thirties were spent in a nearly constant state of exhaustion - the relentless grind of raising three children born all at once, it seemed, was very hard. There I'd be at the park with two year-old twins and a three year-old; bleary-eyed and mentally impaired from fatigue (because I could never go to bed early) and I'd see these other moms.. looking as though they'd actually had a shower. Starbucks coffee in one hand, cell-phone in the other. Makeup on, hair all clean and fluffy. I'd feel like such a failure.

But then they'd breezily mention that their mom lives across the street, mother-in-law watches the kids all the time, grand-parents still alive, maybe even a live-in nanny eventhough they didn't have a job! Freezer stocked with pizza pops and cupboards full of cheese-string. (I made that part up to feel better about myself) And then I'd realize why I was so tired. No help! Except from Lorenzo. And we had no money - couldn't afford to buy my son a tiny milkshake at Dairy Queen. He asked me so sweetly, and I had to say no. It killed me.

So the early thirties were pretty hard, but my kids were adorable. Three little ones running around in their sleepers, three tots in the bubble-bath, mispelled letters to Santa Claus, missing teeth, days at the beach...best memories!
 

Pals for Life

And things start getting easier. Then one day, you're sleeping in!  Which is awesome if you're a chronic night-owl like me. You can actually read a book. But best of all, your marriage can experience a second honeymoon - it's like you rediscover each other. 

I read a great book once on parenting and the author wrote, "If you want happy kids, put your marriage first. If you want confident, successful kids, put your marriage first..." everything ended with "put your marriage first." Not your kids, not your career, but your marriage. It took us awhile to realize this - and it's the best advice I ever read. You don't want to be one of those couples who are terrified of being alone together. You see them on the ferry - not a word spoken from Tsawwassen to Mayne Island. Bobbing along the ocean in miserable silence - frowny faces the whole trip.

Anyway, when I feel happy like this, and appreciative that things are going relatively well, the pessimist in me starts waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it will - it always does. That's life. Enjoy the good feelings while they last, because something will come along and crap all over it.

Have a nice day!

Twin Love

(one twin wants turkey dinner on her birthday; the other twin wants quesadillas. Neither twin is willing to budge.)


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